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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 19, 2018 22:40:03 GMT
392 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
Being pregnant was starting to feel like Layla had just miraculously transformed into a hippo over the last few months. Not only did she feel fat, she felt exhausted and grouchy and much less like herself. She was used to being the polar opposite of this given her disorder and it was doing nothing to make her feel better about her decision to keep the kid. So she did what she could to stay moving and active so that by some miracle she wouldn't gain as much weight as she was on track to. The doctor that she'd been going to always gave her a look of disgust or disappointment or maybe even both combined. Like she knew what was wrong with Layla without her even saying anything. It was' as though Layla didn't know that it was bad for the baby, but she was suffering and she wasn't even in the third trimester yet.
To make matters worse, her best friend knew how to cook and was damn good at it. He was only fueling her weight gain and she knew it had to be on purpose. There was no way he didn't notice what he was doing. After another meal, she felt particularly disgusting and so she knew she needed to busy herself with something. Prior to her pregnancy, they'd had a system. If his parents cooked, they cleaned and once he began taking over the cook position, she'd been adamant on continuing to help with cleaning. Even as she grew in size, she insisted.
There was something different about this dinner and she had to wonder if it was because his parents were out that had led to the shift. He always argued with her about doing the dishes. The chemicals or soap weren't good for her to be around and she was standing for too long hunched over and this and that. He couldn't just let her be! She was waiting for it this time, just waiting for his reason for her not to help clean the way that she always had before. Layla could feel her irritation bubbling up inside her in anticipation. She dared him to say something.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 22, 2018 11:32:08 GMT
178 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Patch wanted to say that he was no an expert at navigating a pregnant Layla, having done it once already. But this pregnancy was determined to undermine him at every possible corner. They started so many small fights, like they did during Layla's first pregnancy but this time, they seemed a little more personal. He knew it wasn't entirely her fault but he also knew, while he was absolutely an instigator, he was also innocent at least fifty-five percent of the time.
On top of that, Layla had gone down her own personal hellhole with her body again. She was getting better at managing it but also better at hiding it by being active when she shouldn't. He didn't like that she was overexerting herself but he also knew he shouldn't say anything because it would cause another stupid fight.
But he wouldn't be Patch if he didn't and so, as he sat at the dining table, finishing his key lime pie, he called out to his wife. "I'm still finishing my dessert, I'll do the dishes later."
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 23, 2018 3:44:51 GMT
306 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
Layla was aware of the way she acted when she was pregnant. The first pregnancy had been probably worse than this time given the fact that Patch was only her friend and an innocent bystander while this time he was the father of the little nugget that was making her flip the looney switch. Her disorder had been much more vicious back then and although it was peeking its ugly head out again, it was manageable. It was easier, but she still felt disgusting and she still couldn't imagine Patch loving her with the way she looked.
With her back turned away from him, and her hands already in the soapy water, she took a deep breath at his words. Why couldn't he just let her do what she wanted? She was a grown woman, she had done the pregnancy thing before, she knew what her boundaries were. That Patch was a large part of why she'd made it through the first pregnancy, well, that fact was buried beneath all of her irrational hormones. She took a deep breath and shook her head, "Leave it alone, Patch."
Layla went back to washing the dishes and waited again for him to stop her. The baby got the hiccups and she felt like she might throw up if he continued, but she tried to breathe through it. "I'm doing the dishes, just let me do the dishes. If you have a problem with it, you can carry the fucking baby for the last trimester and tell me how much fun it is for you gaining a hundred pounds," She said quietly at first, but getting louder as her irritation grew.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Authored by
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 23, 2018 6:21:00 GMT
106 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Patch pursed his lips at her response and sighed softly. He was definitely not going to leave it alone because Layla did this all the damn time. Her stubbornness had made his chill persona very difficult to maintain over the years. While he was still always the level headed one in these situations, it got him a little stir crazy especially because the baby she was carrying was his. It was just different.
"Oh yeah sure. That's a mature way to go about with that." Patch rolled his eyes as he took another scoop of his pie in his mouth.
"Why do you always do this?"
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 23, 2018 15:23:46 GMT
262 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
Her irritation only started growing and as he shoved another bite of food in his mouth, she wanted to jab the fork in his face. Irrational, yes, and crazy, but she couldn't help the frustration she felt. Why did he think he could control how active she was? When had he ever thought he could control what she did? Sure, he'd managed to talk her into keeping her first child, but only because she heard the heartbeat and couldn't imagine giving that to someone else. And maybe he was level-headed, but he also instigated these fights with her.
"Why do I st-" She couldn't even finish his stupid question back to him. She didn't do anything, she was doing the dishes the way she always did! Her breathing started coming faster and she was pretty sure she might throw something at him if he kept it up. Layla hadn't ever gotten violent with Patch, but that wasn't to say the thoughts hadn't been there when she was pregnant the first time.
Layla took a deep breath, "You're the one who has to bring it up every single goddamn time I do anything. I'm pregnant, I'm not incompetent. I'm fully capable of handling a few dishes. Why can't you just let me do the fucking dishes without being an ass about it?" By the end she had raised her voice again, her calmness fading faster.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 24, 2018 13:01:28 GMT
143 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
Patch could hear the irritation grow in Layla's voice and rationally, he should stop. There was never really any use for both of them to be fire. One of them needed to stop the situation from getting worst. Without Nick and Patch's parents around, it was going to be awhile before the situation would diffuse and Patch should apologise and let her do what she needed to do.
Patch wasn't known to do things he should.
"So we're completely ignoring how many times during your first pregnancy that you almost jeopardised it? Alright, okay. I'll stop being an ass about it if you admit that you're only doing this because you want to prove some insane theory that you're capable of doing things without taking it to the extreme." He said. His voice was calm but his facial expression and body language wasn't.
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 26, 2018 13:04:48 GMT
198 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
Her fingers gripped the edge of the counter and she tried her best to breathe deeply and calmly. He was actively pushing her buttons because he knew how. That was one of their problems, he knew exactly how to make her crazy. He'd never been very good at letting things go. Neither of them were. She felt like they were sixteen all over again. She was pretty sure she'd been a lot worse during her first pregnancy.
Layla loved Patch and she was glad that he wasn't a pushover, but in that particular moment, she wanted to wrap her hands around his neck and make him go to sleep. It was only getting worse the more that they snapped at each other and she wondered at what point one of them would finally cave.
She wasn't about to be the one who did though, not if she could help it.
Whirling on him she threw the sponge in her hand at him, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Post by Nu on Mar 26, 2018 14:47:48 GMT
112 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
He let the sponge bounce off his head and down to the floor as he looked at her with a steely gaze. This was definitely turning into a thing and he ought to stop. This for sure wasn't good for the baby either. But he couldn't really let her off the hook. Especially not when she clearly thought that he was being unreasonable.
"You know exactly what that's supposed to fucking mean, Lay." Patch answered. "You might not remember how your appetite suddenly plummeted but I do. I remember your sunken cheeks, the dark circles under your eyes. And it started with chores, didn't it?" He asked, an eyebrow raised in challenge.
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 27, 2018 1:53:52 GMT
266 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
Layla was aware in some part of her mind that she was acting out of control. She knew that what she was doing was silly and stupid and that she'd done it before. While she was completely aware of that, she couldn't help the irrational frustration and anger that came with her pregnancy. This was his second round with her and he knew every part that came with her pregnancy. The attitude, the anger, the frustration it was nothing different than the last time.
So what was his excuse? She knew they fought about silly things, but this was deeper rooted and what he was saying struck a chord. As he laid into her about the symptoms that came with her disorder, all she could do was stare at him. All of that pent up rage and frustration deflated almost instantly and she was left staring at him with a glazed over expression because she hadn't expected the words that came from his mouth.
Layla was silent before she dropped the dishes in her hands and walked out of the kitchen, purposefully keeping as much distance between them as she could so that he wouldn't be able to reach out and stop her. Her pace was quick and moments later, she had their bedroom door shut and locked behind her. Sliding down the door, she felt her breathing pick up erratically and tears began pouring down her face.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Mar 27, 2018 7:44:27 GMT
169 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
He should have predicted her response. He would have, if he hadn't had faith that Layla would actually listen to him. But when she left the room, making sure to leave plenty of space between them so he didn't get the chance to stop her, Patch stayed at the dining table a little longer. He finished his pie, did the dishes and walked over to their bedroom door and sat down by the door.
"You hate me right now, I get it. Okay? I get that you're not an invalid. But you have to take things easy. You need to understand where I'm coming from. This isn't our first, Layla. Truth be told, I don't want it to be our last either." Patch wiped his face and sighed softly. "You're healthy, the baby's healthy. I just want it to stay that way. Can't you understand that?"
He could have sent his shadow to unlock the door and he bet Layla knew that but he didn't to show good faith.
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 27, 2018 15:26:37 GMT
317 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
She was so convinced that she had her disorder under control. She was still eating. She was still gaining weight. It had been a while since she starved herself, years in fact and for him to believe that she'd go that far while she was pregnant again...she couldn't stand it. He thought he had faith in her, but he was proving to her that he didn't. Her thoughts about her body couldn't just be wished away, just because she had been on the mend doesn't mean that she ever recovered.
His voice through the door was calm and she could imagine that his expression had softened considerably, but she didn't feel better. The words he said now didn't make up for the words he'd said before. How it had gone from her doing the dishes to the way she let her disorder rule over her life, she still couldn't figure out. Her head was spinning and she couldn't stop crying. Layla wanted to snap at him and ask him why he'd think she was actively trying to harm their baby because that's exactly how it sounded. She wanted to tell him to look at Nick and ask what she'd ever done to harm him. But she couldn't get any words out and she didn't want to fight anymore.
Her fingers shakily wiped at her face and she placed her other hand on her stomach as her little nugget started kicking. Just because she was sick didn't mean that she was looking to make her baby sick, too. It'd been different with Nick because she was sixteen and in the middle of the worst bout of her disorder. She was recovering now and he still acted like she wasn't.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Mar 27, 2018 15:45:19 GMT
133 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
The quiet from the room caused Patch's guilt to rise to the surface. As he examined his words from before, he knew he had messed up but instead of backtracking and apologising, he continued on his path of self-righteousness. When they were younger, Patch didn't know better. He hadn't realised the effects that Layla's disorder had on the pregnancy. But he'd still been scared.
This time around, the small one growing in her was his. The fear he had doubled. Layla was definitely getting better, there was no denying it, but her disorder had the tendency of rearing its ugly head at the most inopportune moment. He just didn't want it to consume her while her hormones were doing an Irish jig in her.
"Layla...I just don't want you to overwork yourself."
i'll shine a light on you
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944 posts
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 27, 2018 15:56:52 GMT
274 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
It wasn't fair that he could say her name and make her weak at the knees. It especially wasn't fair that hearing the guilt in his tone made her feel guilty at the same time. She didn't want to feel guilty for doing dishes. She didn't want to feel guilty for just trying to be helpful and do something that didn't involve sitting and eating like she seemed to be doing all the time. Layla was an active person, and yes, it stemmed from her disorder, but it didn't change the fact that she needed to move around or she'd go stir crazy.
It wasn't his fault that she was sick in the head. He'd saved her from getting worse. Her therapist had pointed out to her that if she didn't have Patch, she could have died long before Nick was born at the vicious rate she went with starving herself and moving. She knew she owed him everything for that, but they were both easy to get riled up and neither was willing to back down in the moment.
With a deep breath, she unlocked the door and moved to their bed. It wasn't backing down completely, as she didn't open the door and fall into his arms, but it was the closest she could get to it. Layla folded her legs underneath her, sitting in the middle of the bed and pressed on her stomach lightly, trying to feel where her nugget was sitting.
but always keep them on a leash
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962 posts
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Authored by
Nu
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Sept 19, 2019 9:40:59 GMT
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Advanced Member
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Post by Nu on Mar 27, 2018 16:15:55 GMT
142 Words
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it only takes a spark
to tear the world apart
For a moment, Patch actually thought Layla was done with him. He'd stepped a little too far. But he heard the click of the lock and he breathed a sigh of relief. He knew they drove each other mad but they both knew whatever they say, it isn't to hurt. He was an ass, but only because she was one too. They were stubborn as all hell.
He got up and opened the door, standing there for a bit as he watched Layla with her hand on her stomach. Patch sighed, thinking how absolutely stunning she was. His stubborn ass wife, pregnant with his child. It was an image he never thought he could be witness to with anybody else but Layla.
He walked over to the bed and dropped to his knees at the foot of the bed. "I'm an asshole."
i'll shine a light on you
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Sept 17, 2019 4:43:32 GMT
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Post by Trix on Mar 27, 2018 16:26:39 GMT
262 Words
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All You Have Is Your Fire
don't you ever tame your demons
She heard the door open, but she kept her attention focused on her bump. Her fingers slid over her skin and she could see her little nugget pushing back against her touch, like he was following her. Her expression was softened and she took comfort from having the most perfect little human growing inside her. This time she didn't have to worry about what he'd be like and that was the best part. She knew he would grow up just like Nicholas had, stubborn and a total pain, but the most lovable little thing in the world.
Patch moved to the bed and dropped to his knees in front of her, but she still couldn't quite look at him. Layla knew that if she did, she'd start crying again because that was the cycle of her hormones. His words made her nod though and while she was upset with what he said, she couldn't imagine her life without him. He was straightforward because he had to be with her. They'd never minced their words around each other and had gone so far as to promise that they never would. They were allowed to get angry, but they weren't allowed to stay angry.
Layla wiped at her face again to clear the rest of the tears that had fallen and her hands dropped to fidget with the blanket on their bed. "And I'm a mess."
but always keep them on a leash
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